life and times of a lazy cook

figuring out life and my way around the kitchen, one misadventure at a time.

Archive for the category “men boys and man-boys”

dear bloggie,

the past four days have been an emotional roller coaster of both terrible and amazing life events

in the terrible column:

  • going to happy hour the night before your first 5k. subsequently drunk ordering pizza (especially when you’re lactose intolerant), and meeting friends at the neighborhood bar.
  • running a 5k hungover. i thought my tummy was going to explode after the first mile

    after finishing. ready to kill someone..

  • an emotionally draining letter from my ex-boyfriend.
  • subsequent mean emails from my ex-boyfriend.
  • spending $250 on textbooks
  • unreliable car betteries.

now for the amazingness that has been my life:

  • finishing my first race in 28:49. not bad for a hungover runner!
  • this idea:

    individually packaged cheddar bunnies in correct portion sizes. then have your roommate hide the big bag from you. keeps me from eating a whole box in one sitting!

  •  my classes! i LOVE them! well, mostly
  • nice guys who are attentive and respectful and wonderful.post-5k wine and dance parties. i highly recommend it.
  • the weather. this winter has been wonderful in terms of not having a blizzard yet.
  • homemade cookies.

i’m busy getting into the swing of things with school, but life is looking up in pretty much every way.

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nard.

today my ex-boyfriend, first (and as of right now only) real love moved to boston. i had a dream about him last night. i honestly don’t know how i feel about this. i think on the one hand i used him as an emotional crutch. i’ll always care about him deeply and i know he’ll always feel the same. in fact, i have a feeling if i had ever wanted to get back together he would have been very happy.

we had a complicated relationship (aren’t they all really?) and a less-than-clean breakup (i.e. i was terrible and strung him along and punished him for things he had done to me in the past instead of making up my damn mind). and i really just don’t know. i never really saw him before now, but i hate that i CAN’T now.

i mean, i know i can/will see him again since all his family and friends are in the area…..but still. and i guess i kind of regret that i didn’t see him before he left. i saw him a few weeks ago, when he was super amazing and drove an hour to come and pick drunk, crisis-mode, crying me up.

what can i say….i’m an awesome ex-girlfriend.

but also i think seeing him would have been harder. i think i would have romanticized what we had/have. and decided i was in love with him again. because i tend to do that when things get tough.

i don’t really know why i’m posting about this, since it has entirely nothing to do with food, cooking or working out but here i am, writing.

i just still always pictured us together in the end. and maybe that will happen. but for now i guess that chapter is closed.

i’ve also decided to be done with the stupid man-child who was nonchalantly breaking my heart for the past three months. and i have a first date thursday night.

and let’s get real here, i’m 23. i SHOULD be single and dating right now.

well, at least thats what i keep telling myself.

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